recommitted

I haven't been too good at multitasking lately, and this weekend I vowed to change that.

One of the main reasons for my tunnel vision is my painting. It's going astonishingly well and when I'm not actually painting, I'm thinking about painting. Above is the start of my third painting of the semester-- the first in the 7th Heaven band series. It's at its beginning blocking-in stages, but you can get an idea of the composition and subject. I've never painted a guitar before. I'm extremely pumped about this series. I had critique on Tuesday on this work, Burning Bright and Vertigo. All were well received and I couldn't be happier with the direction my artwork is headed. And I just got a couple pictures of Teresa to work on for the runners series. My cup runneth over with ideas and positive energy.

What's been suffering-- my running. I was able to luck my way through a new PR in Shamrock Shuffle last weekend despite insufficient training. I will not be able to do that for the longer races. After she runs the Boston Marathon, Teresa has volunteered to train me for the summer/fall-- she's already devised a personalized marathon training schedule for me. She'll come with me for long runs along the lakefront and will give those pep talks that never fail to motivate and encourage me. That's what makes her the best runner I know... she has tremendous running ability but she excels even more at being a generous friend. No one is more in my corner.

I have Race to Wrigley 5K coming up in April. Small race, but a new one for me and I'd love a PR. May will bring Soldier Field 10 Mile which is our favorite race EVER! Looking forward to running it with Teresa, Vince and Becky and having Sue and John along for support. Nothing's on the schedule for June and July so far, but Sue's planning her comeback and I'm honored to run alongside of her for that, whenever it may be. August 1 brings Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon-- another first time race for me. I fear the heat, but maybe it'll be okay. Then there's the big dance.... 10/10/10. Chicago Marathon.

There's always a reason not to run. I'm soooo behind on my reading for the two book clubs I belong to. I want to have a long chat with mom on the phone. The Hawks are on and soon it will be playoff time. Almost Easter and I have to make greeting cards for the family.

THERE'S NO REASON I CAN'T DO IT ALL!! I just have to be better at time management. I've done it before. I can do it again.

So I pulled myself away from the tv yesterday and did a 4 mile training run. This morning I forced my Sunday-attitude butt to the gym for a fast mile, then a 13.1 mile ride on the stationary bike, followed up by a nice soak in the hot tub. Once the habit is launched, it'll feel so good that I won't want to slack off. And that, ultimately, will make all other aspects of my life-- painting, relationships-- all the better. What could be more exciting?!?

Shame-rock Shuffle 8K? Not quite...

I woke up this morning fully expecting to have a bad race. Due to work and family issues, my training has been sporadic at best. I'm a back of the pack racer on a good day and-- well-- there hasn't been an abundance of good days. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

More important to me than the actual running are the friendships I've made and the ones that have deepened because of the sport. For the first time ever, I'd be undertaking this particular rite of spring without my close friends. Teresa's heavily into training for the Boston Marathon. Bonnie has retired to Texas. Sue's still recovering from a serious health problem.

Last night I decided to figuratively bring my loved ones with me on the run. I replaced the shirt I was planning to wear with a Boston Marathon t-shirt that Teresa bought for me last year (through it, maybe I could channel a bit of her speed). While standing amid the 25,000 people at the start, I decided to run a mile for everyone. Mile 1 for my mom. Mile 2 for Bonnie. Mile 3 for Teresa. Mile 4 for Sue. And the final mile for myself.

The weather was ideal. The rain/snow held off and although it was a little windy, temps were around 34 and the sky was overcast. Perfect conditions for me. As we passed SAIC on Columbus, I thought about how well my painting is going lately and that got me started with a surge of adreneline.

I thought about how proud my mom is of me, no matter how crappy a runner I am. The course was different this year and somehow the mile markers seemed to come a little faster. I thought about Bonnie, about how amazingly positive she is. I didn't feel tired. I thought about Teresa-- the best runner I know. I thought about what she told me on Friday when I expressed my doubts about the race... "you can use the negative energy as much as you can use the positive... you are capable of much more than you think you are."

I was into the 4th mile on Michigan Avenue and somehow I was not faltering. I thought about seeing Sue for lunch tomorrow and how emotional that will be. As I made the final turn up Mount Roosevelt, I did it for me. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sheer willpower was making me run a decent race, despite my doubts and fears and lack of focused training. I'm not sure exactly how that happened. But when I crossed the finish line, my time was 51:52. A new PR by 53 seconds. Wonders never cease. Thanks, friends and family. I love you!

the ones who mean the most

Another painting finished! Directly above is Vertigo, a portrait of John. I just finished it. Well, you know how that goes... "finished" is relative!

People often ask me if I have a favorite among my paintings. I guess that my self-portrait 10 pm has garnered the most critical favor, so I do like it a whole lot. But overall, the works that mean the most to me are the ones that mean the most to others. Let me tell you about them (starting with the most recent and progressing in sequential order):

Vertigo - I've painted John before. That's what you get when you live with an artist. He's a very patient and accomodating model and I love him so much for it. However, I think this one is the most powerful composition and it was certainly the most fun to do of any of the paintings of my husband. As I was finishing it, he was hanging out with me, reading a book. Usually when I'm painting, I'm completely oblivious to everything going on around me, but every so often I saw him glance at it. He really, really loves it. That's pretty much all the acclaim I need.

Burning Bright - this one was featured on my blog a few posts ago. It's of my dear friend Vince, who is an awesome runner. He knew I was doing a series of runners for school, so he generously dug up a picture for me. In addition to running like the wind, he also has a keen eye for composition and knew that this particular photo would make a great painting. He was right. It was one of the easiest paintings I've ever done and he seems happy with the result and that means a lot. Also, I believe Vince has some of his own artistic talents; a while ago he showed me some excellent photographs he took of winter landscapes in Pennsylvania. I wish he'd do more of that.

Young Dave - (see the second photo in this post, above) this was the largest painting I've ever done-- it's close to five feet tall. It features another very dear friend, David, on his motorcycle. For years, Dave and I were inseparable-- he has an open and sincere baby face that was a joy to paint. Again, it was a class assignment-- this time the theme was biker people. He and I went out to lunch at a local greasy spoon and I surprised him with it. It's the first time I've ever seen Dave speechless. It was a very special moment. Dave now lives in North Carolina with his partner Steve and I'm told the painting hangs in a place of honor in their home.

All That You Can't Leave Behind - (see the top photo in this post, above) every artist I know has done a 9/11 work. This was mine. I worked in Sears Tower when 9/11 happened and Robin, Kat, Toni and I were together for all of the horror and its aftermath. Shortly thereafter, I left my job at Sears Tower-- because it was in Sears Tower. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. I met Robin, Toni and Kat for lunch one day a few months later and snapped a few pictures of them. Later I drew it in colored pencil as a triptych. I chose it as one of the paintings I'd show for our Certificate in Drawing graduate show. None of the gals knew I did it. When they arrived to see the show, they walked in together, coincidentally enough, in the same order as they appeared in the painting. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw it and more than a few tears were shed by all of us.

hey, Mace

I can't tell you how many times I've uttered that phrase over the years. Sadly, not for a while-- Mason no longer sits across the partition from me at work ("Mr. Milligan, TEAR DOWN that wall!"). He left the firm a few years ago and the place hasn't been as good since. However, we've kept in touch and he recently started a new blog-- imagine my sheer delight when he added a link to my blog. It made me think of him and I decided to write a tribute to yet another dear friend.

What can I say about Mason? Well, first of all (and this is huge praise because you know how much I admire an artistic sensibility), he's one of the most creative people I know. He has a true talent for design which is equalled only by his outlandish sense of humor. He's also a great athlete, an amazing photographer and an honest and genuine friend.

There are so many stories I can recount. One time when I came back to work after a day off, I found our department mascot and Chief Marketing Chicken, Bock Bock, hung up by a noose. I've had my image Photoshopped in many strange and twisted ways (in a thought bubble of a cicada, being eaten by a Komodo dragon, on and on and on...). He willingly let me talk him into "running" the Chase Corporate Challenge (I won that year!! Ha ha). He always supported my artistic endeavors and even came to see my graduate show for the Certificate in Painting at SAIC. We've had "Chinese Fridays" and sing-alongs together in the marketing playroom. He taught me how to throw a baseball. At times he was the only one at work who kept me from walking out and never coming back when I had an especially bad day.

Mason's now in graduate school in Michigan studying sports marketing. He'll most likely own a baseball team someday. Or appear on Comedy Central. No matter what he does, he'll be successful because he's truly a wonderful person. If I had a little brother, I'd want him to be exactly like Mace. I miss seeing him every day, but I'm going to read his blog faithfully. You should, too.

bleach is not for amateurs

So yesterday I got my hair cut. Within reasonable boundaries, I'm no stranger to experimentation with my hair, so every so often (when I can't come up with a new idea on my own), I let my stylist Celeste have at it with abandon. I'm always pleased with the results.

Yesterday was no different. It's been a while since my hair has been short and layered, so that's what Celeste chose. Sort of a "Joan Jett" 'do. I liked it very much. After she was done with the cut, she said, "you should color it dark red and do snappy red highlights on the top and sides." Hmmm....

Next stop was Sally Beauty Supply. I like to spend money, but I do subscribe to a little bit of my native New England frugality at times. I paid for salon coloring once, and it wasn't worth it in my opinion. Plus, John's dad and brother are barbers, so he's genetically programmed to help me out.

Highlights!! Let's see.... the store clerk recommended something called 'Ntense Red Mix 'N Go One Step Bleach 'N Color System. Intense! That's me!!

Although I bought some sort of bonnet thing with holes (you're supposed to pull strands of hair thru the holes with a little crochet hook), John (who for once read the instructions) noted that the diagram on the directions showed a freestyle approach. So that's what he tried. I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, so his assistance with color placement is greatly appreciated, and he's truly a good sport about it. All was well. Although my exuberance often outpaces my common sense when trying new things, we did not go crazy with the streaking. The next step was to put a cap on it and then heat with the blow dryer for a half hour or so.

This is where things started going south fast. In retrospect, I know exactly what went wrong. While attempting to tuck the longer strands along the sides of my face into the cap, I must've scrunched my hair together and, well, bleach and red went where bleach and red were not supposed to go.

I knew it was a disaster as soon as I rinsed it out. I had a good-sized fire engine red (INTENSE red) spot on the right side of my head, just above my ear. The iPhone picture above does not do the color justice, but you get the idea.

Oh. Shit. First I laughed. Then I didn't. Of course it was too late to go to the salon to get it fixed (and I have my pride). Luckily, I also had a spare bottle of dark red "base" color. Praying to every saint I've ever heard of, I attempted The Great Cover-Up. Long story short, it worked. Whew. The texture's a little goofy, but at least I can be seen in public without looking like a freak. Kids, do not try this at home.

balance

So, work has been dreadful lately. There's a lot of uncertainty and oppressively bad vibes all over the place. Deadlines. Unbearable stress and a lot of frustration. And the situation with mom has sucked, to say the least (although that seems to be leveling off; today she is at her new home in an assisted living facility in Virginia, near my sister Debi's home).

But, man-- despite all of the weight on my shoulders and challenges I'm coping with-- am I ever painting!! I haven't been this prolific in a long, long time.

This photo is the very start of an interesting little piece I'm doing of John wrapped in a scarf. At this stage it is still very washy and without a lot of depth, but you can at least see the composition and where I'm headed with it. It's small (18 x 18) but it should have a lot of "pow" when I'm finished. I'm in love with painting his ear. And there are some very interesting dramatic shadow patterns and detail near his eye.

Meanwhile, I bought some very sweet portrait-grade linen (can't stop touching it!) and I'm in the process of gessoing it. I'm prepping two canvases (22 x 26 each) that will be the first in the 7th Heaven series. I plan on sketching them out this weekend. I'm still high as a kite about this project. It's going to be SO COOL!

So I guess everything in life is a balance. Bad work. Bad family drama. Good painting. And I did a fast, very satisfying three mile run today. Balance!