going the distance

This past Saturday I raced in my 7th Soldier Field 10 Miler. Like last year, this one was preceded by a lot of doubt. For the past few months, I've been battling a knee injury, but thanks to a wonderful physical therapist, I felt as if I had turned a corner and the pain was no longer an issue. The week prior to the race, though, the hot weather loomed large and forecasted temperatures in the upper 80's caused me great concern.

I took the day off on Friday to have lunch with a dear friend I've known for over 20 years who I haven't seen in a while. Her office is quite far from mine which makes workday lunchtimes hard and I really missed her. As soon as I saw her, I sensed that something was wrong. She told me that she has been battling cancer and-- get this-- didn't want to tell too many people so as to not burden them with the news. I was staggered and in shock. She talked about it rather calmly and with the positive outlook that is so typical of her. We hugged long and hard as we departed at Union Station.

Saturday morning dawned and the predicted weather held off; the day was cool, windy and overcast. While waiting for Heena and Kimmy, John suddenly noticed that our cat Sheila was bleeding. She, too, has been battling cancer. He instantaneously decided to forgo the race and take her to the vet. I told him I would also not run the race and go with them. By then, Kimmy and Heena were at the door. My thoughts were whirling. John urged me to go to the race and be with my friends as a distraction. The cat wasn't in distress and the situation didn't seem immediately grave so I decided to go forward with the run.

Needless to say, though, my thoughts were troubled as I waited for the race to begin, shivering in the wind. This was way bigger than running. Due to the large number of participants, the race start was staggered so it was almost 45 minutes before my group approached the start line.

To be indelicate, I had to pee. Really bad. But I decided against making a last-minute mad dash for the port-a-potty because I didn't want to have trouble getting back to the start area. By mile 1.5, though, it was clear that I'd have to make a detour. Of course, the lines were long and I glanced anxiously at my watch. Over six minutes lost.

By the time I hit mile 2, I was extremely off pace to PR or to even meet the lower expectation I was carrying, to finish the race in under two hours. I felt beaten and discouraged. I wanted to give up... to give in to the distractions I had and to just walk to the finish line. It was such an empty feeling.

Then I looked at all of the people around me running and having a good time. I felt the cool wind surround me on the beautiful lakefront. I thought about how hard I had fought the knee injury just to get to the start line. I thought of my friend and my cat who were at that moment fighting a battle that made any negativity I was feeling pale in comparison.

At that moment, I decided to not fail. I stepped up the pace and ran my heart out for the last 8 miles. No, nothing magical happened. I did not PR. Choirs of angels did not sing in my ear. But I dug deep for an inner strength and I found it. I found it for myself, and my friend and my cat. Come to think of it, I guess that is pretty magical.

Update - Sheila has a wound on her leg-- bad enough, but thankfully not as bad as we had feared. And I heard from my friend today. She ended her email with the following words, "thank you for all your support and friendship. It proves how much is right and how very little is wrong."

Words to live by.

over half my life

While watching my friend Manny's band perform on Friday night, I was suddenly struck with an amazing thought.  I've known Karyce and Manny over half my life. Over HALF of my life. It made tears well up in my eyes and made me think of continuity, my personal history and what is important.

I was born in Massachusetts, lived in Western Pennsylvania and now in Chicago. What defines home?  I've lived her longer than I've lived anywhere else, combined. My fondest memories and closest people are here. Sitting in a banquet hall on a golf course in suburban Bolingbrook, Illinois, I felt complete.

During the show's intermission we talked about our present and our past. Relived the old stories that get retold every time we're together. Manny and I going out to breakfast together at Mitchell's as he mimicked the restaurant syrup scene from "Rain Man," much to my delight and slight embarassment. John and Manny,  downing an extra-large pizza, wine coolers and an entire apple pie and then playing tennis on an 80 degree summer day-- both of them got sick. Karyce and I spending all day working together at Ernst & Whinney, then going home and talking on the phone for over 3+ hours a night. Lavish dinner dances. Boisterous family Christmases and Thanksgivings. Teaching Manny to ice skate. Karyce pointing her extremely long fingernails at me and calling me "heifer."

I took pictures last night and then came home and dug though my photo albums to find the old ones (you'll be able to tell fairly readily which are which!). We're all older, maybe wiser, less hair, grey hair, but the laughter and the joy has not dimished over time.  History is a wonderful thing.

the agony of the bikini

Once again, a summertime at the water park at Great America looms. With it comes the fear and dread of showing my "winter puff" in a bikini. I'm not one of those women who will excuse it away with, "my metabolism is slow," or "If I had time, I would exercise more..."  Nope. I'm gonna call a spade a spade. I'm lugging around a few extra pounds because I love to eat. With gusto.  So as I fire up the good 'ole "Lose It!" iPhone app and hold myself accountable for every morsel that goes in my mouth, I review some of my culinary likes and dislikes (which kind of outlines my struggle).

Likes

Pizza - The Bible tells us in Genesis that "in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." So wrong. The first thing He did was create pizza.  And it was good.

Arby's Beef and Cheddar - Screw four-star restaurants.  Take me to Arby's and I will love you forever.

Reese's Pieces - Loved by ET.  And by me.

BBQ chicken wings from D'Agostino's - I'm quirky about chicken and how it's cooked and these are perfection.

Swedish Red Fish - as close as I get to seafood (see below).

Cheez-Its - Cannot stop once I start.  Really.

McDonald's Happy Meal - No, I'm not embarassed be an adult and still like the toy.

Diet Pepsi - my biggest vice. I will never confess how much of it I actually drink.

Cupcakes - especially with coconut, but I show no discrimination. I have never met a cupcake I haven't liked.

Dislikes

Fish and all of its aquatic friends - Yes, I was born in Massachusetts and raised on lobster and steamed clams ("steem-AHs"), but now I firmly believe that if it lives in the ocean, lake or stream, it should stay there.

Tofu - it's just wrong.

Hummus - Looks like something you'd find in a diaper.

Peas - Satan's vegetable. I've been known to laboriously pick each one out of chicken pot pie before I'll eat it.

Mushrooms - Three-time losers-- taste, texture, smell. They have no redeeming qualities.

Baby corn - they just look like a freakish mutant.

Water chestnuts - I'm not exactly sure what my problem is with them.

Tomatoes - Yes, I will eat them well-cooked in a soup or stew, but never, ever in a salad or on a sandwich. It's the sliminess around the seeds. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

Onions - again, you may slip a little of them by me in a soup or stew, but never raw.

Ham - it's mostly the color.  Mom tells me that even in infancy I wouldn't eat it.

So... It's probably no coincidence that most of the things on my Like list are bad for you and that things on my Dislike list are good for you. Ah, well.  There's always portion control. Because although I can spray tan away my pasty white legs, there's a limit to how long I can suck in my abs without asphyxiating myself.