the agony of the bikini

Once again, a summertime at the water park at Great America looms. With it comes the fear and dread of showing my "winter puff" in a bikini. I'm not one of those women who will excuse it away with, "my metabolism is slow," or "If I had time, I would exercise more..."  Nope. I'm gonna call a spade a spade. I'm lugging around a few extra pounds because I love to eat. With gusto.  So as I fire up the good 'ole "Lose It!" iPhone app and hold myself accountable for every morsel that goes in my mouth, I review some of my culinary likes and dislikes (which kind of outlines my struggle).

Likes

Pizza - The Bible tells us in Genesis that "in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." So wrong. The first thing He did was create pizza.  And it was good.

Arby's Beef and Cheddar - Screw four-star restaurants.  Take me to Arby's and I will love you forever.

Reese's Pieces - Loved by ET.  And by me.

BBQ chicken wings from D'Agostino's - I'm quirky about chicken and how it's cooked and these are perfection.

Swedish Red Fish - as close as I get to seafood (see below).

Cheez-Its - Cannot stop once I start.  Really.

McDonald's Happy Meal - No, I'm not embarassed be an adult and still like the toy.

Diet Pepsi - my biggest vice. I will never confess how much of it I actually drink.

Cupcakes - especially with coconut, but I show no discrimination. I have never met a cupcake I haven't liked.

Dislikes

Fish and all of its aquatic friends - Yes, I was born in Massachusetts and raised on lobster and steamed clams ("steem-AHs"), but now I firmly believe that if it lives in the ocean, lake or stream, it should stay there.

Tofu - it's just wrong.

Hummus - Looks like something you'd find in a diaper.

Peas - Satan's vegetable. I've been known to laboriously pick each one out of chicken pot pie before I'll eat it.

Mushrooms - Three-time losers-- taste, texture, smell. They have no redeeming qualities.

Baby corn - they just look like a freakish mutant.

Water chestnuts - I'm not exactly sure what my problem is with them.

Tomatoes - Yes, I will eat them well-cooked in a soup or stew, but never, ever in a salad or on a sandwich. It's the sliminess around the seeds. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

Onions - again, you may slip a little of them by me in a soup or stew, but never raw.

Ham - it's mostly the color.  Mom tells me that even in infancy I wouldn't eat it.

So... It's probably no coincidence that most of the things on my Like list are bad for you and that things on my Dislike list are good for you. Ah, well.  There's always portion control. Because although I can spray tan away my pasty white legs, there's a limit to how long I can suck in my abs without asphyxiating myself.